Mar 062010
The minister of my church was clearly uncomfortable when told of the instances of physical, verbal and emotional abuse in my marriage. We did counsel with him but I did not get the support I need–namely to have the church advocate for me. This has left me feeling very hurt. I have since left the church and there is still no support although the minister is still counseling my husband. I am receiving christian counseling elsewhere but feel betrayed that the church did not support me in my pain. Any suggestions or comments would be helpful.
if your husband was abusing you, why didnt you get away from him?
Stop blaming others. Get advice from another place. Decide what you want to do about it and act accordingly.
You did the right thing. However you must not continue to dwell on the actions of the minister if you are going to experience healing with your new minister. The former minister may in fact be advocating for you – just not it the way you expect or wish – and in your current raw state of emotions your view of it and expectations do not line up with is efforts to minister to your husband as his primary parishioner. Based on what you say the problem stems from him and is not your fault so he would need to be closer to your husband in order to help him repent as opposed to chastise him on your behalf. There are too many unknown layers so I would say draw as close as you can to your new pastor and stay with prayer that you don’t start harboring resentment that leads to lack of faith.
Time heals all.